Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
