careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize