Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
this beer tastes like vomit already
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
