there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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