just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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