That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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