"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize