im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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