I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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