Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
