And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
