dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
