i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
