I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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