The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
