I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
