so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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