Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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