thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize