I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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