just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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