his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
