I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
