We're facebook friends in real life
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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