you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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