just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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