I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she peed on how many people?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
