Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
