I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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