Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
