I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
