at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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