see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
