Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Text me some of your sweat
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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