New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
