Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
