The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
