Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
