the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
the raccoons are back...
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