At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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