we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
