omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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