don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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