Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
