been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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