I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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