So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
