Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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