I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
