Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
