the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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