yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize