the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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