it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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