i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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