i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
