My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
