he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's rum buckets o'clock
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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