Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
