He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
