Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
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