just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize