Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
