well I can't set my house on fire every night
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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