so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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