i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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