I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
