I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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