She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize