So drunk its hurt
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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