..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
