He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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